Self-confidence is key to having the resilience, motivation, and positive attitude necessary to face life’s challenges. However, mental health conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) can impact how you perceive yourself.
OCD is characterized by a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions, such as intrusive thoughts, urges, sensations, feelings and/or images bring uncertainty and self-doubt, while physical or mental behaviors known as compulsions, provide relief. Living with intrusive thoughts and compulsions can be extremely disruptive to day-to-day life and harmful to your self-esteem.
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How does OCD affect self-confidence?
Unwanted and intrusive thoughts can impact how you perceive your skills and abilities. “OCD is a massive undercut to self-confidence and self-esteem because it instills doubt in absolutely everything,” says Patrick McGrath, PhD, Chief Clinical Officer at NOCD. “If we think that we’re a terrible, awful person because of the thoughts, images, or urges that we’re experiencing, we just beat ourselves up as a way to try to get better.” According to a review of several studies, people with OCD are more likely to self-report lower confidence in their memory and perception than people without OCD.
If all you’re doing is thinking negatively about yourself and what a terrible person you are for these thoughts, images, or urges, it’s hard to have any self-esteem or self-confidence in yourself.
So, what exactly does OCD and low self-esteem look like? According to Dr. McGrath, “It’s this constant doubt about yourself and your ability to do the right thing, even though you haven’t done the bad thing.” Low self-confidence can make you fear leaving the house or being around loved ones because you worry that you’ll do something wrong. Over time, this can become so debilitating that it affects your ability to partake in activities that make you happy. “If all you’re doing is thinking negatively about yourself and what a terrible person you are for these thoughts, images, or urges, it’s hard to have any self-esteem or self-confidence in yourself,” he explains.
Strategies for boosting self-confidence with OCD
OCD symptoms can make you view yourself in a negative light. Fortunately, there are strategies you can use to regain control and instill confidence in yourself.
- Face your fears. As scary as it may seem, you have to know and challenge the fears surrounding your self-confidence directly before anything else. “You have to face the thing you’re not confident about,” says Dr. McGrath.
- Don’t rely on a security blanket. Some people with OCD use objects, such as their phone, a picture, or a water bottle, as a “security blanket” to build their self-confidence. However, using these items isn’t too beneficial in the long run. “I don’t suggest those to help boost confidence,” says Dr. McGrath. “The reality is they don’t boost confidence, they boost safety. Recognize that your job is not to try to increase your feeling of safety in the experience—it’s to try to increase your feeling of confidence.”
- Find community. Joining an online or in-person OCD support group can also help boost your self-confidence. These communities allow you to share any challenges or successes you’ve had with overcoming self-doubt. “An OCD community can be great, as you can share and celebrate your accomplishments and let other people know that they can start living the life they want,” says Dr. McGrath. “People in the community will see your progress, which may help them build their confidence to do it as well.”
While there are many supplementary strategies to beat OCD and apps for self-confidence you could try, Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy has been shown to be the most effective treatment. ERP is divided into two parts: exposure and response prevention techniques. In a typical session, a specialty-trained therapist will gradually expose you to your triggers, such as a fear of leaving your home. Then, they’ll teach you response-prevention techniques that help you address your fears and live with the uncertainty and doubt they can bring.
How specialized treatment can help you gain self-confidence
Engaging in specialized OCD treatments like ERP can provide you with the best strategies for overcoming low self-confidence. One ERP method that can help with self-doubt is the fear hierarchy approach. “We build a hierarchy and have people do things they’re afraid of because we ultimately want them to learn how to handle them,” says Dr. McGrath. “Over time, your confidence will build as you do it.”
Response prevention techniques can also help you learn how to be comfortable with the uncertainty and self-doubt OCD brings. “If your goal is that you’ll always be safe, you’re going to fail,” says Dr. McGrath. “If your goal is that you can learn how to handle things that are uncomfortable, you can succeed. And that’s what we’re trying to do in therapy—teach people they can handle things even if they’re uncomfortable.”
If your goal is that you can learn how to handle things that are uncomfortable, you can succeed. And that’s what we’re trying to do in therapy—teach people they can handle things even if they’re uncomfortable.
Engaging in specialized therapy like ERP can be a helpful method for overcoming low self-confidence. Nothing happens overnight, but if you stay consistent with your therapy sessions and practice what you’ve learned in the real world, you can regain your self-confidence with OCD.